Colonel Klink: When I looked out the window I thought I saw a chimpanzee raking in the garden. : What witness? Andrew Carter: Well, that's what Newkirk says it means. Sergeant Walters: You mean you're going to stage a raid from a prison camp? Hans Georg Schultz: You forgot pigs By the way who are we talking about? who's pretending to be English, making it also an In-Universe Fake Nationality. Carter: Heck, I've seen groundhogs down there that were lost. Am I not clever? Col. Wilhelm Klink: All heads will roll, that's quite democratic. I must remember to mention it to my dear Uncle Karl when I write him. : Cpl. : [Myra and Newkirk are being held in a German prison]. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR SECURITY HERE. I'm a cryptologist. General von Rauscher: I AM IN CHARGE OF SECURITY- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE? Peter Newkirk: You don't think I'd let a Frenchman make the tea, do you? Major Hochstetter a character not in the main cast was played by an American actor, as was French resistance leader Tiger. "Major Hochstetter is here to arrest you, Colonel Hogan." Was it Hogan's imagination, or did Klink sound sympathetic? : Col. Robert E. Hogan: Maybe it's some kind of new secret weapon. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Just because we're enemies is no reason we can't be friends. It is against the rules. We're going to rebuild the bridge with a very special feature. Col. Wilhelm Klink: But why should that responsibility fall upon me? Sgt. : General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: As who is? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Well, now that you mention it, so would I. Sgt. Bad scene, Major. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [on telephone] What was that? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [Zagoskin hands him his notebook] Until I clear you, you will please stop inventing. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Now, Klink, last night, not too far from here, a convoy was blown up, almost totally destroyed. We have no choice in the matter. "Colonel Klink, when I received your invitation, for a moment I had forgotten who you were. Pleasure, No. Peter Newkirk: [as German adjutant] Transfer to the Russian front, sir, or court-martial to be shot? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Of course. You plant a bomb and a bridge blows up. Louis LeBeau: A dancing lesson? Major Hans Kuehn: Yes, uh, Field Marshal Karl Von Streicher of the General Staff. Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe: Right, Colonel. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Who knows? We don't need civil rights. Andrew Carter: Hey Thank you! Col. Wilhelm Klink: Yes, Major Hochstetter. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Then what's the bad news? You didn't know behind that stern soldier, there is a a world traveler, a dreamer a lover! . I talk about you all the time, when you are not around. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I have every confidence in your ability along those lines. NOTHING IS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DUKE OF YORK! Col. Robert E. Hogan: Because you could fly or because you were bald? I saved you some cake. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Newkirk, can you pick a lock? You'd make somebody a good wife. Cpl. Andrew Carter: Well, I'm still willing to try, Colonel. Col. Robert E. Hogan: LeBeau, my boy, I'm holding you in reserve. Failure punishment execution by firing squad. Of course you are. Col. Wilhelm Klink: That's another good one. And who are we gonna believe? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, you should have been there. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Oh, no, no. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, let's put it this way. You are ignorant! Therefore Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Col. Robert E. Hogan: I want to register a complaint on behalf of my men. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: They must be sending out the location of our rocket launchers. Firing? Andrew Carter: I hate to say this, Colonel, but I don't see any way we're going to get our hands on that briefcase. General von Rauscher, Col. Wilhelm Klink: What better place to keep him. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [shouting] And more, I wanna tell you [Klink and Hochstetter shout into each other, so you can barely understand what they're shouting]. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter You gotta expect a few little explosions. Writers can stir the mind, but they can't direct it. But the major has a plan to cripple the entire Russian rocket program. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Until we catch those traitors, Stalag 13 will be under Gestapo control. You don't even know how to spell the word. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Maybe the Major didn't mean it when he said 'heads will roll.' Web. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Therefore Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: ALL HEADS WILL ROLL. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Yes, sir, I'm ignorant. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Why don't you call headquarters and let them send over an expert. But the Major has a plan to cripple the entire Russian rocket program. I've seen to it personally. I'm sorry you missed it, major, it was a great party. | It was three years ago, in November I think. Tell me, is that jackass Klink still in command? Still, you're a likable clod. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [trying to find the three scientist] I'll send to headquarters in Hammelburg. Sgt. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [addressing the prisoners] And while I'm on leave Col. Kureger will be in charge of Stalag 13. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [Zagoskin hands him his notebook] Until I clear you, you will please stop inventing. If they see anybody suspicious, shoot them. Col. Robert E. Hogan: That's the hotel, all right. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Did you hear that, Schultz? : Col. Wilhelm Klink Just because we're prisoners doesn't mean we can't have our own prisoners. Gen. der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Captain Ritter has been ordered to acquaint himself with Luftwaffe prisoner-of-war facilities. WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE? Think of the things you two have been through together. General von Rauscher Sgt. : This is WHY Major Wolfgang Hochstetter Was PROBABLY Agent "Nimrod!" Many watching Hogan's Heroes have seen the episode, the Missing Klink. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: The gestapo never arrests the wrong man. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Do you think I would ever let a Burkhalter marry a Klink? Col. Robert E. Hogan: That's cruel and inhuman punishment. Bob Crane starred as Colonel Robert E. Hogan, coor. Hogan: Do I have to repeat the orders that were given to us when this happy little band of wandering minstrels was formed? We don't want our audience walking out on us. Col. Robert E. Hogan: That's a terrible thing to do. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Something like that. You're not arranging right now for Zagoskin to escape to Russia? Kinch: Achtung doesn't mean 'Good morning.'. : Col. Robert E. Hogan: Kinch, you go with Carter and help him set up his bomb factory in Tunnel Number 3. That's what I would like to hear. Hogan:"Last night I dreamt Schultz ate all the dynamites." LeBeau:"With him that's possible." Klink:"I can smell the sauerbraten. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Witness? Major Hochstetter You can't take it home, sir. What witness? Col. Wilhelm Klink: I was not aware that it's my birthday. You've already figured how to turn this to your advantage. That *is* bigger than a piano. Top Major Hochstetter Quotes Writing has power, but its power has no vector. I'm trying to save your *life*! Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You will be shot. [walks towards door, gives his classical] BAH! Col. Wilhelm Klink: Well, we are centrally located. Col. Wilhelm Klink: The men responsible for this will be confined to barracks for two weeks. Major Hochstetter Hogans Heroes Quotes: top 7 famous quotes about Major Hochstetter Hogans Heroes List 7 wise famous quotes about Major Hochstetter Hogans Heroes: I deal with the obvious. I don't know the answers to any of those questions, but I saw an episode the other day with a smoking hot frauline in it, who Hogan out-foxed and had arrested by Maj. Hochstetter. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, thank you, Hogan. Sgt. Col. Robert E. Hogan Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Peter Newkirk: Monkey, Schultz? Hogan, I will not go down alone. A becomes E if followed by P. When preceded by U, then E becomes B and U becomes P and sometimes Y except afert C. However, what they've done here- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Just read the message. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Not like you. The ultimate weapon didn't quite work out. It ran for 168 episodes from September 17, 1965, to April 4, 1971, on the CBS network. Carter? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter : Major Hochstetter, Herr General, in charge of security here, and you're all much too close to this rocket. Oh, they're great goose-steppers, but nothing on the dance floor. The rest is detail. I danced every dance with her, while Major Hochstetter was sitting there with sauerbraten on his face. The man can't dance. [a milestone quotation for the series - Klink admits to Schultz and Hogan]. Hans Georg Schultz: Oh, I'm sorry, Freddy. Please! [energetically and enthusiastically gets up off his chair and shakes the captain's hand]. Col. Wilhelm Klink: There's one nice thing about his being here. Hogan: [about famous artists] It wasn't until after they were *dead* that they were famous. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I see no reason why Colonel Hogan shouldn't watch a demonstration of German efficiency. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Exactly what I was going to say, sir. That'll be great! It's my niece, Frieda, and she's marrying Count Von Hertzel. : Ja, I believe I have. : Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Well, it's in code. [Major Hochstetter returns to Stalag 13, demanding that Klink surrender the man in hiding. Not sufficient entertainment, perhaps. You're not gonna get anything out of me. Release Dates Are you OK? I will be here every single day until I find these men. Col. Wilhelm Klink Till we meet again, Nimrod. When I say 'Achtung' I want you all to come to attention at once. Col. Robert E. Hogan Col. Wilhelm Klink: [at the rehearsal of the wedding Hilda dressed as the bride] I do not recall giving permission to Fraulein Hilda to be part of this. Hochstetter: Why not? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Physical fitness is one thing. Cpl. While being heartily congratulated by the painter, painter's daughter, LeBeau & Hogan Hogan asks] How'd you do that? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, you'd never make sergeant in OUR Air Force. Sgt. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Thank you, General Burkhalter. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: First suppose you tell me what you were doing there. Hans Georg Schultz: Let me see. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What is this bungler doing here? My men gave it to me. [Hogan pretends to have passed out from drinking]. Quotes [repeated line, indicating Colonel Hogan] Major Hochstetter : WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: During the days, the temperature is 140 degrees, and at night, it is below freezing. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [after catching Schultz accepting items from the prisoners] Cigarettes? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Ah, Major Hochstetter, always a pleasure to see your smiling face. Col. Robert E. Hogan: [indignantly] That's to keep the tooth warm! Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Peter Newkirk: In that case, sir, why don't you tell us what you've thought of? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Let's get our prisoner first. You'd better brush up on your German, Schultz. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Yes, but Klink is such a stupid one. Col. Robert E. Hogan: The call sir, it's after 7:00 you get the night rate. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: For two hours you have been telling me that. Col. Wilhelm Klink: That I'd have to think over. Louis LeBeau: All you're gonna get is my name, rank and serial number. | And I am operating UNDER DIRECT AUTHORITY OF THE GERMAN GENERAL STAFF. Hogan: [the phone rings while Hogan's men are cracking a safe] Answer the phone, tell him it's the wrong number. [pause] Carter: So what if you haven't told me who you're calling yet?No matter who you're calling it's still the wrong number because I don't even have a phone! Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Berlin is calling every minute. You are succeeding in doing by yourself what millions of enemy soldiers are unable to do. Uh, did you come on military business, or is this a social call? Colonel Klink: Schultz, into the cooler they go. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Of course not. In that case, I'd better check it myself. We had to lose him - he was bad luck. Andrew Carter: [dressed as Klink] Maybe you better run through it once more. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: If you did, I wouldn't be asking. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: He isn't going anywhere with the information, is he? : Col. Robert E. Hogan: After two years here, who cares what they look like? It wasn't for me. Even if I say so myself, when I turn on the charm, I can be irresistible. Colonel Sitzer: [Klink has just been told he is to receive an award] You will be presented with an award and a national radio hookup. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Oh, Nimrod is a very brilliant man. Col. Wilhelm Klink: What's there to behold? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, it's obvious, major. The moonlight- it's beautiful on the laundry or the bakery. Just let us all know when it's time for Roll Call, will you? How I could have been so fooled by Klink. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Yes, I heard the phone ring, I heard you say Mairzy Doats, and I watched you eat a wad of paper. Col. Robert E. Hogan: [Interrupting] HOLD IT! Col. Robert E. Hogan Thirty days in the cooler. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [looks in Newkirk's mouth] Aha! Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [annoyed] I didn't say you said anything about Friday. The Geneva Convention - not a word. Col. Wilhelm Klink: The Ping-Pong tournament is canceled. My men gave it to me. Colonel Klink: In case I'm, uh, recommended for promotion - not that I'm asking you, sir - I'm sure that the board will take my extremely marvelous physical fitness into consideration. I present, reiterate, and glorify the obvious - because the obvious is what people need Major Hochstetter Hogans Heroes Quotes Sgt. [repeated line, indicating Colonel Hogan]. Col. Wilhelm Klink: You have certainly come to the right man for delicate matters. You can depend on me, Major. He'll do for them what he's done for you. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: That's what's so amazing. Hans Georg Schultz: Achtung! [He puts it on and looks in a mirror], Col. Robert E. Hogan: He's also given you a new name, Schultz. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: You read it to me, please, major. He is our witness. Instead of your party, I'll be soaking my knee". Cpl. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Are you aware that, last Monday night, an American plane dropped a bomb on Gestapo headquarters? "However, the weather turned cold and my knee stiffened up, as it has since August the fourth 1917, when you panicked and almost killed the two of us in that training crash. Col. Robert E. Hogan: The party was for me, sir. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Nimrod? Sgt. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You have one simple alternative, Commandant. Andrew Carter: How true- that's true! What makes you think he's fat? "What happened to the Duke of York?" Col. Robert E. Hogan: Whose side are you on? Cpl. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: We haven't had a friendly chat at any time. It always sounded like Schultz was just clearing his throat. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I'm sure Mrs. Burkhalter was famished when she arrived. Crazy credits In the credits, there is a 'Lieutenant Rosen' listed. Quotes Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter : You will all stay away from that rocket. Col. Wilhelm Klink * What witness? Col. Robert E. Hogan: [as German general] Take this man's name, Putzi! Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [sarcastically] Oh, thank you very much. Col. Wilhelm Klink: You're a little late, my friend. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Hogan, you don't understand. Hogan: [pointing at officer] This man is to be court martialed and *shot!*. Factory Accident Death,
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